A secret tape showing breaches in England security is being offered to international coaches for millions of pounds.
The tape appears to show that the England camp is easily penetrated, particularly with any sort of decent passing in the midfield or sometimes just with a mindless lump up the park.
Our sources tell us it also shows Rio Ferdinand’s dallying on the ball, John Terry losing concentration being out of position as well as showing Ashley Cole apparently tying to sell the rights to his divorce to a supporter during the second half of the England Egypt game.
However it is believed that the scheme has backfired as most international coaches plan to adopt the tactic of making England kick penalties.
An FA insider said: “This breaches are very serious as we told Fabio that we were really good and it was all Steve McClaren’s fault that our results were rubbish.
“This type of filth only serves to undermine the massive hype that will benefit all footballers this summer and enable them to nail loads of cash in adverts and what not.
“We intend to tighten up dramatically before the World Cup by trying to get John Terry to shag Paul Robinson’s missus so we don’t have to pick him either.
“Ashley Cole and John Terry will be kept in Hannibal Lector style cages when not chasing around Brazilians.”
Morally angered pundit Alan Shearer added: “When I think about onions, I really can just lose a day in thought and reflection. I guess that is how religion developed.”
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