Speaking from their base, a giant levitating ‘super-shoe’ above Cirencester (sorry Lancelot), their spokesman said: “Gallahad is unfortunately busy with the National Lottery so we did try to recruit the Gallagher brothers but apparently they support Manchester City.
“Of course our bid is realistic. It simply requires us to build a time machine, gather together all the mystical spirits of Camelot, and learn how to do that horsey-pokey-stick thing what knights do.
“It is outrageous to suggest that we are a bunch of faceless accountants trying to look like maverick super cool rebels.
"Yes, we’ve called ourselves the Red Knights, issued a comprehensive set of merchandising items such as our marvellous Red Knight plates and do plan to make a film about how we had an idea to call ourselves the Red Knights, but apart from that we’ve done nothing to promote ourselves. Oh yes, and the whole Piccadilly Circus advertising thing.
A Man Utd fans spokesman said: “We are absolutely behind this bid by a bunch of faceless accountants and moneymen who have spent their whole lives making cash for themselves. We would much rather be run by these people than buy the Glazers whose faces are really massive and really fat. Really, it is all about facial features when you think about who you want to own a football club.
“We cannot wait for the Red Knights to walk through the air, pull the sword of Excalibur from out of the fountain in the Trafford centre and slay big Malcolm, when he next turns up for a game.
"Our hopes are realistic though, we do accept that Dimitar Berbatov will always be a tool no matter what the powers of the red knights are!”
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