Sports fans and players are being urged to donate sperm after it was revealed that most specimens belong to John Terry.
Said an expert: “We are talking about a John Terry virus here whereby every childless couple right now is likely to have a son that cannot pass for toffee and is likely to develop into a deranged sex warrior who feels up Andrex puppies
“Procedures should have been in place to prevent this happening but our researchers were too busy reading about John Terry in the papers and have not been checking the samples.
“By our calculations, a society of darts playing seals would have a greater collective intelligence than a generation of John Terrys.”
He went on: “A similar thing has happened in America but we are less concerned about a generation of dull ,pointless golfers as we do not think that will affect the population demographic greatly.”
“In the UK, we need to sports fans and players to donate sperm so that we can have a balanced society of fat, angry people who like breaking legs on a Sunday morning.”
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