Benitez slates latest Liverpool plan

Rafa Benitez has slated plans for Liverpool to attempt to win the title, saying 'we would have to go on until the end of the century'.

Benitez said the plans simply disrespected the traditions of the Premier League in which Man Utd and Chelsea lose to some muppet teams at Xmas before trouncing everyone.

Benitez said: "We already have enough problems beating Wigan, why do we need these extra targets?

"It really does not make sense to mess with a format that works so well. Every year we mess up becaause our skwad is rubbish and we play shit, percentage football. I am really good at delivering this so why change the formula now?"

Pundit Alan Shearer added: "Sometimes I'll be in the kitchen, see an onion and just laugh. Life can be weird like that."