Henry anger over hand punishment

Thierry Henry has reacted furiously after Fifa handed down a fierce punishment over the infamous ‘le hand’ incident which denied Ireland the chance to go out of the World Cup group stages.

Although not banned, Fifa has told Henry that he must spend the summer taking on a fruitless task likely to cause humiliation and frustration.

The Room 101 style punishment will largely involve Henry playing up front for France at the World Cup.

Said a spokesman: “Mr Henry will essentially spend the summer running everywhere trying to get the ball but never receiving it.

"He will have to watch the France midlfield playing at a slow plodding tempo and getting 0-0s against rubbish teams. We think this humiliation is more than enough punishment for his crimes."