THE MOST POLITE WORLD CUP EVER?
The World Cup is back on tour. After a brief sojourn in ‘boring old France’, Fifa have pulled out another joker in the pack and awarded 2002 to South Korea/Japan, two nations whose co-history is a bloody tale.
The sport’s rulers have played this trick before: they took the Greatest Show on Earth to the USA in 1994. The great paradox was that while every stadium was packed, there seemed no other evidence the World Cup was going on in the vastness of America and her sports entertainment maze.
In South Korea’s industrial heartland you get rather the same feeling. Banners, flags and welcomes adorn the normal accessories of any modern city: lamp posts, bridges and manicured trees.
But where are the supporters? Where are the tribes of colour, sing-song and beer?
However, one thing that isn’t missing is hospitality. People seemed to have been almost mobilised to respond with instant offers of help any soccer tourist. I can’t quite imagine ‘the government’s back home’ mustering us into such a frenzy.
As I wandered towards the stadium for Brazil-Turkey, a man pulls up and excitedly uses sign language to offer a lift to the stadium – and gives me a number in case I need a lift to back. Later, I enjoy a glass of lemonade in a bar only to realise that I am in fact in somebody’s back garden. To top off this surreal adventure of kindnesses, I am given a lift home by Ulsan’s law enforcement after an over indulgence of alcohol leaves me hopelessly lost. Rather than being greeted by an angry hotel manager, a nice old lady greets me with a plate of free red melon (although I can’t deny I was dreaming of chips and curry sauce).
As for the game itself? Well as I head up the stairs of this modern, functional ground I seem what appears to be rows and rows of yellow Brazilian shirts. Ah, so the fans are here after all, I think. Well, not exactly: as it is our polite Korean hosts again, all fully kitted out in the green-and-gold as if it were school uniform. This is going to be a World Cup for lost innocence I figure before Brazilian Rivaldo pretends to be floored and cynicism is once again fully restored!
JOURNALISTS DO NOT LIKE CABBAGE
I am now on what constitutes South Korea top tourist island, Jeju. A World Cup game has blatantly been staged here to boost the tourist industry and I do not think Jeju United has a long, and distinguished history. In fact, I don’t think it has a short and undistinguished one either! You have to admire the architects who must have been given briefs to build a whole slew of stadia for a country whose domestic league attracts crowds that would embarrass British amateur teams. In Jeju, the middle part of the ground runs so low that you can see the ball quite easily from outside. They don’t really like balls at this ground though: the official match ball which I have purchased for reasons beyond me is confiscated by stewards.
The stern face of the female steward tells me all I need to know: this is South Korea bucko and there are no balls allowed. Meanwhile, it has not taken me long to find a member of the media circus sent by all and sundry to make sense of the Far Eastern World Cup. You’d think experiencing this rather surreal event would be
Well, I guess you can’t please everyone. Personally, I’ve enjoyed the food. More so, I’ve enjoyed being a true luddite and inquiring about the possibility of forks in every eatery I have attended. It has become a kind of ritual: firstly the waiter is confused, then there is panicked conversation and finally somebody is sent to the back of beyond somewhere to retrieve for a fork-like implement with the zest and fervour of Indiana Jones. Now where else can you get that apart from Little Chef?
Oh, did you want to know about the football? Well, I’ve just watched the Chinese get massacred. I tried to help, by waving burgers at Ronaldo, Brazilian’s vastly gifted striker who has a penchant, it has been alleged, for non-healthy foodstuffs. My strategy didn’t work. Nonetheless, we flew with the China team and, whilst waiting for our luggage, it became clear there were other priorities for the players. A large man has been appointed to collect their baggage and vast amounts of newly-bought TVs and DVD players stream out. Well, they might not get any World Cup points but they’ll certainly be up on Mastercard points.
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